Monday, April 12, 2010

time, time, time

Yesterday, I was reading a story for my Intro. To Fiction class. It was about two brothers. Or rather, about one brother attempting to take care of his younger brother who gets busted for drug use. At one point during the story, the older brother has a flashback to a conversation he has with his younger brother (whose name is Sonny by the way) right after their mother dies. (Before their mother died, she asked the older brother to be sure to always watch over Sonny.) So during this conversation, Sonny tells his brother that he wants to be a jazz pianist. The older brother continues to tell him that it's going to take a lot of time to get to the point where he's good enough to play in jazz clubs and to be as good as his favorite jazz musician, Charlie Parker. At this point Sonny says to his older brother three simple words:

"Everything takes time"

And in that moment, it's like my world stopped and everything became so clear. Those words are so simple, but they say SO much. Until the last 9 months, I've been the most impatient person in the entire world. I always wanted things to happen on my time. Not on God's or their own time. When I wanted things to happen, they just had too or it wasn't right. I'd be upset or angry or frustrated. I could never stand waiting. Now, I'm not saying that I like to wait for things to happen. Especially good and exciting things. But I can tolerate it now. I can do it without a single complaint. (Well, almost) I have just come to realize that everything we do in life takes time. It takes 9 months for us to be born. A year or so to learn to walk and talk. 12 years to get through the school we need. Another 4 to get a bachelor's degree and start a career. It takes time to build a relationship. Then you get married and have kids and the whole thing starts all over. Life revolves around time. And really, you HAVE to learn to be patient or you're never going to make it out alive. Then again, death takes time too.

Those three words are what my life is going to be based on from now on. I'm going to leave everything to happen in God's time, because it's all way beyond my control. And sometimes, yes, I forget that. Who doesn't? But when things get frustrating and I'm sick of waiting I'm just going to force myself to remember that everything takes time. Every little moment of your life is based on time. If I just remember that, maybe things in my life will be a lot better from now on...

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