Epic. Fail.

Okay, so I haven't QUITE reached the point of epic failure, that may be a bit dramatic. Or a lot dramatic, who cares. Point of this post? I don't have TIME or ENERGY to read enough. So I'm saying screw goals. I'm just going to read to make myself happy. At my own pace and whatever the heck I feel like reading. I knew there was a reason I didn't make new year's resolutions. I get the motivation and the momentum to do them for a few days but then I just lose all hope. Working 20+ hours a week and going to college full time added with a boyfriend who you don't see too often makes for a very busy schedule. I'm lucky if I get time enough to BREATHE.

On another note, I'm starting this little experiment. Okay, it's not really an experiment per say, but it's just something I feel like doing. For the next week or so, I'm not going to wear any make up. I'm doing this for several reasons. A. It's a pain in my butt to put on in the morning B. It's a pain in the butt to keep on throughout the entire day C. When I don't keep it up I end up looking like a raccoon and (of course) no one tells me that D. I need to learn to love myself without having to change myself and E. I'm just plain sick of it. I don't know how girls keep up their looks every single day. It's exhausting. And maybe that's just because I'm so busy as it is that the 5-10 minutes it takes to fix my hair and make up feel like an eternity. I could be using those extra minutes to sleep or eat something. (Being so busy makes me forget to eat sometimes). I was telling my dad the other day that wearing jeans and a hoodie with no make up felt AMAZING and I didn't understand how girls could look good every single day of the week. Of course there are girls who don't have to make an effort, and I wish I felt like I was one of those girls. So maybe that's what this is about. But I'll keep you (whoever you are) updated on how long this lasts before I can hardly stand to look at myself anymore.

I don't read enough.

I don't read enough.

After cleaning my room tonight, I sat down on my bed and turned my head to the right, towards my bookshelf. Or rather, book corner. The books I own have officially overflowed my bookshelf. Some are packed in crates while others sit on the floor. I was browsing the book corner when I realized that half the books I own have never been read. Or read by me, rather. I picked them up on random trips to the bookstore my high school friends and I used to take (yes, we were THOSE kids who went to the bookstore on weekends rather than to a cool happening party), vacations with family that were so boring I had to go buy a new book, or vacations that weren’t so boring but a little light reading couldn’t hurt. I’d gotten some as gifts, bought them for 5 cents at a school book sale, or had borrowed some of them from my grandmother and never returned. I grabbed a half-empty notebook (I have a tendency to buy notebooks, use them for a little while, and lose them) and a pen and decided to jot down all the books I haven’t read but yet own anyway. The end result? 50. I own 50 books that I have never read. Does anyone see something wrong with this? You know what I see wrong? Two things.

A. I have a book shopping addiction that must be fed regularly, even if it means owning 50 books I’ve never read.

and

B. I don’t read enough. I go through these little phases where I read and read and then life happens and I work all the time and have school work and get distracted by my boyfriend or friends or family and I don’t read for a long time.

Are there solutions to these two problems? Yes. I can stop buying books until all 50 of the ones I already own are read. And. I can read more often. Set aside a little time each day to read. And maybe, just maybe, by the end of this upcoming spring semester I’ll have read them all. But who am I kidding? 5 months to read 50 books? Sure, that seems doable. If you have no life and can sit at home day after day reading. Unfortunately, I work for a living. And I go to school full time. Add those things together, throw in a boyfriend, a best friend, family, and a dog who all require your time, and you’re pretty much screwed. But I sure as hell am going to try. I’m not going to punish myself if in 5 months from now I haven’t read close to 50 books. I’ll simply extend my goal through summer, and if that doesn’t work out, who cares. What I am going to make myself do is stop buying books until all of these are read. Hopefully I can convince myself that this is a wise choice when I’m near a book store…

So, my journey began tonight with a book called Let Me In. You’ve probably heard of the movie. This is the book it’s based on. I remember buying this one at Wal-Mart only a few weeks ago, actually. I was Christmas shopping for my family and of course couldn’t make it out of the store without buying something for myself too. The verdict on this one? So far, so good. Only 28 pages in and it’s already captivating. Wish me luck…